Self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence

Receiving clear intuitive guidance requires the ability to respect your own impressions. High self-esteem is necessary for this type of inner listening.

From the moment we are born we are forced into submission. Firstly to the will of our parents and care givers, then to our teachers, our clergy and religion, the ruling power or government, our bosses, our doctors, etc. etc.

Society and our environment demand that we conform. Conformity results in the loss of self-expression. It takes energy to swim upstream against the norm. It takes courage to express oneself when our support system does not relate to or understand that which we are expressing. Sometimes our desire to please overrides our desire to create at the expense of our self-will, self-worth and self-esteem.

When we lack self-worth we also lack self-confidence and will often crawl into a safe rut and stay there. This dampens our experience of life. We become insular, losing our spontaneity, enthusiasm our dreams and desires.

This is how we lose our connection to Self and our inner power. Instead of self-referral we begin looking outward for guidance and begin to doubt our inner impressions.

Self-dicipline is not self-punishment as it is so often portrayed, but rather self-development. When we lose the connection to Self we also lose our need for self-discipline which opens us up to temptation. We begin to over indulge ourselves. Without the connection to Self we are powerless against temptation.

Our personal power is lost when we begin to look outside of Self for security, guidance and direction. We stop taking responsibility for our choices and actions and we become victims of our society. We begin to experience fear as we become powerless and we withdraw. When we give our personal power over to objects outside of Self we experience a sense of being out of control and we become afraid. We then try to regain a sense of control and we focus on objects outside of the Self which are impossible to control. We may consciously believe ourselves to be safe but at a deeper level of existence we are afraid and powerless.

When we block our own power and expression we lack spontaneity and appear cold and controlled. What we are feeling however is a lack of control and a sense of fear. This appearance of control is exhausting and depletes our energy. Our self-expression then turns inwards on itself, resulting in self-criticism, self-loathing and self-persecution. When somebody lacks self-worth and self-esteem they are easier to control and manipulate. When you dislike the way you are feeling you dislike yourself. It is easier to control and manipulate somebody who does not like themself i.e. does not like the way they are feeling. When you do not like the way you are feeling you become focussed on the feeling of discomfort to the exclusion of all other feelings. You anesthetize yourself as a form of protection for fear of further feelings of discomfort. What you also do however is block yourself from feeling joy and desensitize yourself to receiving guidance from within.

Only a connection to Self at a deep level will break this self-destructive cycle. Also an attitude of acceptance of ones shortcomings as well as acknowledgement of one’s strengths in a non-jugdemental loving way will break this negative cycle.

Expressing self-will comes from a connection to Self and a trust in oneself when making decisions. This includes the willingness to face the unknown and take risks and acceptance of responsibility for one’s choices.

It is through using and testing self-will that confidence begins to develop. High self-esteem results in self-confidence, enthusiasm, assertiveness and the willingness to take risks. Self-esteem develops from trial and error and a realistic sense of one’s own capabilities. Experience brings knowledge and knowledge is power.

Once you are confident and trust your own impressions this is the beginning of inner strength and you will be less likely to make bad choices.

It is only when you stop trying to always feel safe and secure that you begin building your personal power from within. Only in a dynamic state of interaction with our environment can we fully express the true Self.

Ayurveda tells us that ill health is the result of an inability to manifest our desires.

The expression of self-will at the deepest level is the alignment of the personality with the Soul. This brings with it the most potential for joy as herein lies the most potential for self-expression.

Having a sense of purpose and experiencing fulfillment with regard to ones self-expression or life’s work affords us the greatest experience of life. This calls for recognition of and striving for a state of interdependence with the Self our society and environment.

The Higher Self

"Earth my body, Water my blood, Air my breath, and Fire my Spirit!”. A Native American Spiritual chant.

The first and most fundamental step on the path to spiritual knowledge is the discovery that you are not only your personality and physical body. You also have a Soul, which is the most important part of you! From birth until death, your Soul seeks to manifest itself through your personality using your physical body as a means of expression. After the death of your physical body your Soul will continue on its journey.Man is a triune being having three aspects to his nature. These three aspects are:

1. The physical body and personality or conscious self (the subconscious mind is also considered a part of this aspect of man’s nature with DNA coding being the subconscious mind of every cell);

2. The higher self or what is sometimes called the super-conscious mind and

3. The Soul.

The job of the Higher self is to hold a clear blueprint of how the Soul comes into relationship with the personality or conscious self. Your Higher self, your conscious self and your Soul form a triangle. This blueprint, held by the Higher self, holds the key to the perfect integration of your Soul with your personality and conscious self. This is what is known as the mystical marriage. Your sub-conscious mind is like the hard drive on a computer. It only holds information that has been programmed into it. All experiences both real and those that are strongly imagined are stored in the subconscious mind. These impressions lie beneath the surface of our conscious awareness and influence all of our decision making. Sub-conscious impressions are responsible for our survival as they contain the collective instinctual drive of the human psyche. The sub-conscious mind’s reference however, lies only in the past. Since the sub-conscious mind does not have access to events of the future, as its reference lies only in the past, our intuitive feelings, promptings and emotional nudges must surface from some other source. This other source is what is known as the super conscious mind or Higher self. That aspect of man’s nature, holding the blueprint of the Soul’s perfect integration with the personality or conscious self. When we are truly in tune with and listening to the subtle whisperings of our intuition we are in touch with and listening to the Higher Self. The Higher self carries with it a perfect picture or blueprint of the most potential for personal growth offered to us during our lifetime. When we align our personality with this blueprint held by the Higher self, we are aligning to the Soul purpose of this lifetime. When the personality or conscious self is in danger of interfering with the life purpose of the Soul it is guided by the Higher self and nudged back on track. What we have to make sure of, is that we are listening!

Forgiveness - Releasing blockages!

"Salvation of the world depends on you who can forgive – such is your function here." A course in miracles.

Forgiveness is not a moral issue, forgiveness is an energy dynamic! Life is like passing through a series of mesh screens. We start off by passing though the least refined screen and each time we pass through one successfully we refine our energy even further in preparation for the next. As we move slowly through each screen our energy becomes less dense and more refined vibrating at a higher faster frequency and we are able to move through even more refined screens without too much trouble. When we are hurt by life’s experiences we try to avoid feeling the discomfort of pain and instead of walking through the pain we hold the negative emotions we are experiencing within our bodies. Sometimes we do not express or more correctly we choose not to express these negative emotions for fear of experiencing the pain and they become buried deep within our energy system. When our energy system contains blockages we get stuck on the mesh screen and are unable to pass on through to the next one. Being stuck is exhausting both physically and emotionally and when this happens much of our energy is lost. If we remain stuck on the mesh for too long the energy blockage in our system will manifest itself somewhere in the body as a mental or physical disease. Anger, resentment or negativity directed at one’s self or towards someone else will create a blockage within your energy system. When this happens you will be caught up in the mesh and find that you are unable to pass on through the screen. This is where you are likely to stay until you are able to let go of or release the negative emotion. The only way to do this is through forgiveness. The ego is that part of the Self, experiencing it’s self as separate. From the viewpoint of the ego everything is threatening to it’s physical and emotional security. The ego is what holds on to these negative emotions. The ego does not acknowledge anything outside of it’s self and does not want to relinquish what it perceives to be “control” over your outer world. The ego is threatened by and does not acknowledge an inner world. It will do everything in its power to prevent you from connecting to your inner world and finding your true Self. The ego knows that when you do find your true Self within, it will have lost its power over you. The ego is unable to identify with being connected to anything it perceives as being separate from or greater than itself. Forgiveness is experienced by the ego as something we “bestow” upon someone if or when we believe them to be worthy of it. The ego uses the logical rational side of the brain, believing that if we forgive ourselves or others we will be seen as weak and will be inviting more of the same anger, resentment and discomfort into our lives. Only when we are able to set the ego aside and express the negative emotions or accept them as an opportunity for personal growth are we able to let go of them. Forgiveness therefore is not for the benefit of the offender, forgiveness is for our own benefit. Forgiveness is the process by which blockages are released allowing love to flow freely. Love is pure energy! It is a powerful current that recharges the system instantly bringing with it peace and joy and harmony. When you open up and allow yourself to feel love the heart chakra starts spinning in a clockwise direction drawing the life force into the body - blockages are blown away. Love recharges us instantly and the dynamic of our energy changes instantaneously. When you allow yourself to receive love without fear you also allow yourself to give love without fear. This means that energy is flowing freely thorough your system and this is how it should be. Forgiveness results in the giving and receiving of love. The giving and receiving of love, is not a moral obligation, it is an energy dynamic! Through forgiveness we are able to dissolve or release blockages held within the body. Emotions are energy and energy can never be destroyed it can only change its form. Negative energy is heavy and sticky. Once forgiveness is felt at cellular level, anger, resentment, in fact all negativity is transformed into a much less dense energy called love. The energy of love being a much higher frequency than anger and resentment will free you from the mesh allowing you to move on. When this happens you will feel as though the world has been lifted off your shoulders. Free from the burden of negative emotions. Life will feel like a challenge once again as you align yourself with the next screen. This time however, you will have the gift of knowledge to help you along the way. We learn through our mistakes. These mistakes are sometimes painful but without them we do not progress. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Forgive yourself when you do. Once you are able to forgive yourself you will find it easier to allow others to make mistakes as you will find it easier to forgive them. The more refined our energy becomes and the less blockages we have the more easily we are able to tune into and receive intuitive promptings from the Higher Self. At the same time the more refined our energy becomes the less attracted we are to the ego, which begins to lose its power over us. Once you set the ego aside and begin building a relationship with your Higher Self, and as this relationship deepens you will start to communicate more freely with that aspect of your Self which is all wise and knowing! You will begin to sense and recognize intuitive whisperings and promptings. You will experience the subtle tingling sensations and distinct feelings associated with a deep sense of knowing and very soon you will be able to instantly recognize the gentle guidance coming from your Source. When we go within connecting to our inner world, the Higher Self knows it is a part of a greater intelligence or energy system permeating all of life. We are a part of this system, interdependent, and we can never be disconnected or separated from it. When we are connected to the Higher Self through our inner world we do not experience the discomfort of negative emotions.

Asking for guidance!

Asking for help or guidance is something that must come from you. We have all been given the freedom of choice in order that we may fully experience our sojourn on earth. Consciousness is the energy creating and moulding our experience. Experience – being the whole point. Source does not judge our experience as being good or bad. We have been given free will and the power to create our experience, it is up to us whether or not we choose the pleasant over the unpleasant. There is no good or bad. There is only pleasant or unpleasant. Ranging from very comfortable to very uncomfortable. These are the sensory polarities of the human experience.

Source is only interested in that we are having the experience of physical existence regardless of whether we choose the pleasant or the unpleasant.

Sometimes only when the experience is unpleasant enough do we turn to our Highest Source of wisdom and ask, why? How can I make the experience pleasant? What am I doing wrong?

If at the point of our asking our intentions are pure and we have reached a place where there is no fear of the answer and when we surrender ourselves to Higher wisdom, do we begin to open ourselves up to the guidance available to us.

All experiences both good and bad are what make you who you are. Why then would Source deprive you of any of these experiences - even when you are choosing the unpleasant ones?

The physical world is a world of sensory experience. Love brings us joy, laughter, peace, serenity, contentment and happiness, all the positive emotions. Fear brings us anger, resentment, hatred, depression, anxiety and misery, all the negative emotions.

When we surrender to the fear which comes from the feeling of being “separate” and trust in the love which is the feeling of being” connected” only then are we able to free ourselves from having the unpleasant experiences. Freeing ourselves from the fear means trusting enough to let go of the need to control. This opens us up to receiving guidance.

The feeling of being “separate” instills fear, which brings about the need to control. Taking control of your life when it is based on fear is like trying to experience a delicate breeze while wearing a heavy coat. You have to trust yourself enough to know that you will have to remove the coat and stand naked in the wind in order to experience what it feels like.

Do you remember as a child, seeing the picture of Jesus the Christ where his heart is depicted as a door with no handle. The artist who created this piece understood the spiritual law of asking. The picture symbolizes the process of asking. Knock politely at the door of the heart of Source and it will be opened from the inside. It cannot be opened from the outside. You can only initiate the process, all you can do is knock.

You must be ready to trust and surrender to Source and its wisdom. There must be no fear only trust and your intention must be pure. When all this is in place and you ask you always get an answer - usually within 24 hours.

I remember clearly my first experience of asking?

It was many years ago. I was a single mother and had been out on a date with someone who was clearly not interested in me as a person. When I got home it was very late. I crawled into bed turned out the light and found myself still sitting up in bed in the dark. I remember feeling I had reached the end of my tether. Last night’s date had been the last straw. Precious hours spent in the company of an emotionally numb egotistical person who had no idea of who or what I was and even more alarming, absolutely no interest in finding out. It had been such a long drawn out evening, such a waste of precious time. Here I was feeling absolutely exhausted, sitting up in bed, thinking how very late it was, that I had to get up early, see to the children and go to work. I felt as though I had had enough of dating. From now on I would focus my full attention on my family and forget about looking outside of this in order to find someone to love!

I had been reading a lot of Spiritual books and many of them had talked about the Higher Self and how we are able through meditation to connect to this aspect of ourselves which is all wise and knowing. Without really thinking about it I found myself entering into a conversation with my Higher Self, it went something like this:

“I have read in so many books that YOU have all the answers, YOU know what the future holds. I am tired of looking for someone to love, who will love me in return and finding only shallowness. Tell me, IS there someone out there who will ever love me the way I deserve to be loved? Go on I know you know the answer, I know you can tell me if you want to. Go on then, I dare you! Just give me a little hint. I know YOU can do it I know YOU know the answer so I challenge you to give it to me”! At this point I was talking aloud, laughing and flirting with this aspect of myself, challenging it to reveal it’s Higher knowledge. I think I was a little hysterical at the time due to exhaustion as I clearly remember laughing out loud while posing my question.

Finally I slid under the covers and immediately fell asleep. I awoke two hours later having had a dream which clearly indicated to me that yes, I would find someone who would love me and who I would be able to love in return. The most remarkable thing about the experience was not the content of the dream in fact I don’t even recall the content of the dream - what was remarkable was the sensation I experienced on waking from the dream. It was the feeling of love. It felt warm, safe, and secure, like being wrapped in a warm blanket only 1000 times more comfortable. At no time in my life before or since have I ever felt such a profound feeling of love. A feeling of safety, security and unconditional accepting love. I realized that this “feeling”, “sensation,” “sensory experience,” call it what you like, was coming from my Higher Self. I also realized it was the answer I had so “flippantly” challenged it for!

Yes I would find someone to love, someone who would love me in return. There was no measure of doubt in my mind. As is always the case, when you connect to and receive guidance from this Highest Source of wisdom, the sensations attached to these encounters are what make the experience so profound. They leave no room for doubt. This is not easy to convey to someone who has not experienced such an encounter. What I want to emphasize here is that when you experience an encounter with your Higher Self, there is never fear or doubt attached to the experience. If you are in any doubt as to whether the information you are receiving is coming from your Higher Self or not, then more often than not it is coming from your logical, rational or ego self and there will be doubt or fear attached to it.

What I realized from my first experience is that the Higher Self is your best friend. You can be as honest and open or as flippant as you like - provided your intentions are pure! I had opened myself up and asked from the heart. My intention was pure and I had no fear of the answer.

If you have asked repeatedly and not received an answer, reflect on your question and how you have posed it? Is your intention pure? Are you ready to hear the answer? If the answer is not what you are hoping for, then perhaps you are hoping for a different answer. If the answer you are receiving is not the one you were hoping for, you may find yourself repeating the question over and over again - hoping for a different answer! Perhaps you are afraid of the answer you are receiving - perhaps this is not the direction you are wanting your life to take? This is when you need to trust in the Higher Wisdom guiding you and follow these Intuitive nudges, even though you may not know where they are taking you!

Fear is what causes the blockages within our energy system preventing us from making a crystal clear transmission. Fear distorts the frequency, corrode’ s mental clarity and focus and contaminates our energy. Fear disrupts the connection.

Are you afraid in any way of hearing the answer? Do you trust enough to know that the answer, although it may not be what you were hoping for, is for the Highest purpose of your Soul. That it is in alignment with your personality and coming from your Higher Self, which is the all wise and knowing aspect of Self. Now that you know how to ask, you will need to learn how to listen.

Shifting Gear

When experiencing fear, it is like being in neutral - you just can't get going. Shifting gear into action allows you to start moving forward.

Trusting yourself!

When I trust in myself I trust in the wisdom that created me!

The extent to which our intuition is reliable, is dependent upon how much we trust and know ourselves. When we have low self esteem, we lose faith in our ability to make decisions. This leads to lack of trust in our own judgement, doubt and uncertainty set in and the dreadful spiral downwards towards despair begins. If we continue on this destructive path we end up being immobilized by fear and totally lacking in self confidence.

From this position, which is ego dominated, we lose touch with the real self buried deep within. The noise of the frightened ego, completely overshadows the soft whisperings of the intuitive self and we feel isolated frightened and alone!